And so, without further adieu, here are the first four song stories.
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You'll Be In My Heart:
It'd probably been 20 minutes since we'd even seen a car. No, more, probably half an hour. And the few cars we had seen all turned before they even made it to our part of the road. At first we were taking turns with our thumbs out. One would thumb while two sat on their packs in the grass off the shoulder. We quickly gave up that charade that a car would come along for us and we were all sitting on the side of the road picking apart the wild pomegranates with the sticky juice running down our fingers and faces. If it had been hard getting a ride before it would be nearly impossible now that it looked like we'd all just committed a bloody murder. Making it out of Sophia hadn't been a problem. Of course there were tons of people leaving, it was the fucking capital. But somehow from there we had picked an abandoned route to Serbia that landed us outside this nobody town. We were seeing NO ONE at all other than the one old man who had driven by us at least three times now. At least it was still early though. Thankfully Jake always made us wake up early so we could get a good start at the road. It was noon and though it looked desolate out there we knew with enough time sitting here eventually the universe would throw a glance our way. And then finally, a slow noise growing. That thrumming or whatever noise it is that tires make on rough asphalt coming in from a distance. We could here it before we could see it so we were all on our feet waiting to see what was coming around the corner and it was... goddammit why does that old guy keep driving by us? What an assh.... wait, there is another car behind him! A white mini can. A brilliant white knight coming out of the darkness. All our hopes resting on his shoulders to get us out of the meager town we'd landed ourselves outside of. All four of us are up on our feet with our sticky fingers held out into the road... and they blow past us. We all sigh and turn around only to see brake lights! The universal sign that you just got some pity poured on you by the powers that be. Then it's a game of everyone hoist their packs and the odd shuffle run that comes with wearing a heavy pack by only one shoulder strap. The door opens before we get there and we all clamber in to find a middle aged man who speaks no English whatsoever. Whatever, we just go with him. We don't care where he's going just so long as it's away from here. Until he drops us in a spot more scant than the last. A crossroads with a chicken coop at it. And nothing else to be seen anywhere around. Nothing at all, even the chicken coop is abandoned. We kick ourselves silently only to be rewarded with the silent road watching our growing frustration. We didn't even know where we'd been trying to get to today. We were just going somewhere. I don't know where and neither did Jake or Jess. But disregarding that we still wanted to be going somewhere. Anywhere really, just not the middle of nowhere Bulgaria. Well here we were. I sauntered off to take a piss right before I heard a car coming around the lonely hillside behind us and thought better of it. I got back to the side of the road in time to have my thumb out with Jake and Jess for the little white car coming about. She must've been hauling ass because it took her forever to come to a halt waaay past us. We started to do the awkward one strap shuffle before we saw her reverse lights come on and we relaxed a little. She came even with us and told us she could take us up to the last town before the border. It wasn't further than an hour and she fed us chocolate biscuits the whole way before she sent us on our way. It didn't take long for people to notice us walking out of the little village. And then, before we knew it there were people taking photos of us. Nothing weird, but people were running home and grabbing whatever kind of camera they had and coming out to take photos of us walking out of town. As if we were celebrities, but I guess they probably don't have many people coming through this small border village between Serbia and Bulgaria. Whatever, we weren't worried about it and kept walking. Right when we made it to the edge of town a nice big Land rover pulled over onto the sidewalk for us and a good ol' English chap beckoned us into the car with him. He decided to drive us past his house and the 7 more miles up to the border. He was ecstatic to hear that we were all English (well Jake and Jess were, and I'd been around them enough to say a few things and not sound American (not that that would have been a bad thing)) and he gave us a short but enthusiastic run down of the area. We spilled out of this rover with many a thanks and waved goodbye as he turned around at the checkpoint. It wasn't so late still, only 3 or so. We were hoping to get across the border and find another couple rides before it'd be dark at 5. We walked up to the small one room building that was the border crossing and showed our passports. Jake's and Jess' went through fine as they are European, but mine, being American, needs to be scanned by the computer. Unfortunately for us the computer was down and wouldn't be working for an hour or so. Well shit. We didn't have anything else to do so we just waited. While we waited the guy in charge brought us out some hot chocolate and tried to make conversation with his little bit of English. He quickly gave up and went back inside, then came back out to beckon me over. They scanned my passport and we were golden. We'd made it out of Bulgaria! We walked the quarter mile to the Serbian side of the border taking note of the 0 cars that had come through the border while we'd been sitting there for an hour. We hit the Serbian side of the border expecting to just walk through and hoping we could be well on our way. Well, apparently there must've been something sketchy about us crossing because they decided to strip search us. Take note, I said strip search, not cavity search. I still to this day hold my anal virginity dear and hope it never changes. What can we do? They go through all our packs one by one and then strip search us all one by one. Of course we had nothing on us so we weren't worried about it really, but still, it was a nuisance at the least. Down right degrading if you ask a lot of folk. But when you're trying to walk across the border into Serbia in the middle of nowhere at sunset you gotta expect a little something to kink. They finally released us just as the sun was going down and we were free to walk down the road with the many cows doing the same. During all this time we still hadn't seen a car. Luckily there was a small "store" about a mile from the border where we were able to buy some bread. I don't remember how we got Teslas (the Serbian currency, I don't know what it's actually called but this is what we called it because it had a picture of Tesla on it), but somehow we had some. We bought some bread and were off on our way knowing Jake and Jess had some powder soup for their camp stove later on. About half a mile down the road we realized we had no lighter. I volunteered to run back to the store and buy one. So I did that while they waited with my pack. I returned out of breath, downed some of our water and we set to walking. We had no idea how long we'd walk for or what we'd be doin', but we just started walking into the night. We walked for hours until we finally reached a small village with a store where we bought 2 liters of orange soda and a few crisps bags. The lady at the store was trying to convince us not to leave in the dark and even ran to get someone who spoke English to tell us how dangerous it was in the dark. Us being us we ignored her and went on in the night. It was still only 6 or so even though it was pitch black out. So we kept walking hoping either someone would pick us up or we'd get somewhere we'd like to be. We just chatted it up and bonded for the long walk we had together and it was actually great. We'd take turns carrying the heavy soda or we'd take a break and everyone would tear of a chunk of bread to gnaw on while we kept on. It was a brisk night, I'd say 45 degrees and the stars above were bursting aflame despite the waxing moon. During this whole time only one car passed us and we eventually gave up hoping to get a car and just set ourselves to walking. Then, hours into this venture, we unanimously decided we were exhausted. We didn't want to keep doing and so we walked straight into the next field we found, dropped our heavy packs on the frosty grass, and dragged our sleeping bags out from the bottom of our packs. Then, only arms protruding, we cooked a nice big pot of soup and passed it around in a circle as we dipped bread into the hot liquid. It was cold out and burning your tongue on the heat felt good. It wasn't long before the soup was all gone, but we were't exactly sleepy. We talked a while and then I drudged the Ipad I'd brought with me this trip from deep in my pack. I only had two movies on the thing. One was Hercules, the animated one of course, and the other was Tarzan, also the animated version. The vote ended 3 out of 3 for Tarzan so we propped it up where we could all see and we could all hear, then we snuggle up in our sleeping bags and kicked back enjoying the sweet buzz our feet were feeling from being unused after so much use. It was actually kind of a perfect day, it wasn't the adventure we'd set out for, but it was the adventure we'd got and I am grateful for it to this day. I remember my eyelids drooping as a I struggled to make it to my favourtie part, the part where Tarzan slays the Jaguar after an epic battle. But the long walk and the longer day had gotten to me, and I soon found myself slipping into unconsciousness.... 🎶 Come stop your cryin', It'll be alright. Just take my hand, Hold it tight 🎶....
"This is the first time I've hitched with someone who has seen me naked" - Jake
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Fairytale Of New York:
A mad sprint from the Balkans to Cornwall in England for Christmas. A lot of days standing in the rain trying to get up to Slovenia. A lot of days standing out in the cold thumbin' it West towards France. It didn't take long to get there. A week exploring castles and farm animals. A birthday only 3 can know about. A short plane ride and then a short train ride and we're walking into Jake's kitchen at 5am on his birthday. They didn't know we were coming so they were all surprised to see us especially since it was Jake's birthday. And then we celebrate. It's Jake's birthday, mine just passed, and Christmas is coming. We celebrate and have a good time and I stay with them for nearly a month. And the whole while 🎶 The boys of the NYPD choir Still singing "Galway Bay" And the bells were ringing out For Christmas day 🎶
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I'm Like a Bird:
"Harrison, someone is here for you,"
I didn't look up from sweeping the floor when he said that. I just kept on until I finished the job. I don't know the name of the man who'd come to tell me that. I just knew that he wears leather bound sandals with socks. He sits three spots forward and one to the right of me in meditation. It's strange being somewhere for 10 days and never talking to the people you're there with. It's strange not talking at all for three days. No talking, no reading, and no writing. You can't make eye contact, use gestures, or touch in anyway. It was strange having a roommate for that long, not being able to talk about what temperature to set the room at or any of those sorts of things. It was the 11th day. We could speak again. Some people went to it like a fish to water, but the silence still held dearly to a few. Those 10 days had seemed like so much more. Not just how they'd effected us, but 10 days of nothing but meditation? I feel like I spent a year there in rural Southern Georgia. So when sandals and socks had come to tell me that someone was here for me I knew it was no one else but my mother. She had happened to be in Georgia the same time I was. I was excited, incredibly excited, but I didn't let the usual giddiness that comes with that show. I wasn't quite in real world mode yet and Vipassana always hits me hard. I slowly finished sweeping methodically then put the broom and dustpan away and walked out the door. Across the little courtyard and into my room where I grab my already packed pack. Then I walk out and see my mother standing there. I don't say anything. In those short 10 days I'd been conditioned to keep my silence. It felt like a big step looking at her in the face and making eye contact. She asked all the normal questions and I responded distantly with a yes or a no as my mind was still lost in itself a little bit. Once we clambered into the car it started to become more and more real. I was done with the 10 day sit. I couldn't believe it actually, I'd made it through. I'd made it through the entire silent 10 days. When Kate had told me this was the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life I hadn't believed her. But now I did. Holy shit, how I believed her now. And I still believe her, this had been the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life. Even looking back now that is still the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Harder than walking the 2,200 mile Appalachian Trail, harder than hitchhiking all around America alone, and harder than working on the fishing boats in Alaska. It wasn't just hard, it fell on the brink of sending me into that chasm that is insanity. But somehow I'd managed to save my mind through the whole thing and come out much better than I had come in. Sitting in the car with the Georgia pines flying by outside, my mom chatting pleasantly about her trip, I started to feel the emotion building up inside of me. I said a word. Then two. And my face burst into the biggest grin and I had no way of controlling it this time. I was talking. Out loud, and someone could hear me and respond. Somehow this made me ecstatic. I needed to talk to people. To hug people, to tell them, actually speak out loud and tell them, how much they mean to me. I could call anyone I wanted now, I had a phone again. I could eat meat again. Meat! The first place we find is Taco Bell and I go in for the biggest, meatiest burrito they have. As I walk in I'm sure the culture shock is palpable on my face. But not because of the people, it was because of the music. It was just some music playing in a restaurant, no biggie. But to me, to me it was more. To me it was angels ringing bells and the way a long lost sailor feels when he sees land again. It was ecstasy, pure, flawless ecstasy. My whole body burst into vibration feeling the sound set it moving 🎶 I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away. I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is 🎶....
My meditation group
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Old Pine:
Crazy Frogg
Do you remember listening to Old Pine in hot springs after we came back for that second
night?
Hiking into Hot Springs two days before was ludicrous,
but we both knew that didn’t we? It still feels like that daybecause my knees still cry out
and my ankles still tremble when I walk. Dragging our feet
up to the Laughing Hart looking every bit as weary as we felt. That stranger
giving us each a beer as congratulations. You and I believed ourselves immortal.
Taking the next day off was God. But then,
how painful it was climbing the cliffs to get out of town. Climbing those sandy rocks
by the river with the mountain laurel waiting to bloom. Getting lost
at Lovers Leap before meeting Hammer and Little Wing. I convinced you
to go back to Hot Springs with me, just one more night. And so we found ourselves
out by the river, two days after hiking into town, sneaking into a camp bathroom
to charge our phones. You said it would rain, but I wanted to cowboy
and laid down my ground cloth. We shared dinner, tortillas and cheese, while listening
to Old Pine. Something about that song then and there hit us both
hard. I’d only known you for three days really, but we could both feel that song,
hurting us deep down in our hearts respectively. And we laid down to sleep
with our white breath puffing out of sleeping bags and our hearts still aching
from miss and loss,
when a star ripped through the night sky, cutting
like a shark fin above the surface
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